I'll take it
by Mel Writer
Summary: Summary – pillow talk and revelations. 27X (Yes, that order.)


"I'll take it"

Summary – pillow talk and revelations. 27X (Yes, that order.)

* * *

Hands clasped tight around Tsuna's neck; not chocking, like most would expect from a lover like Xanxus, but gentle, possessive, _protective_ , and even loving in his own way. Tsuna had always found the larger man's hands enticing, an interesting mystery of contradictions, but only when they tangled in his hair and pulled, or wrapped around him (his neck, his wrists, his thighs – it didn't matter where.) did Tsuna understand the passion and power woven into every cell, held back during daylight, and let loose at night, with Tsuna.

Tsuna brought up his hands to wrap loosely around Xanxus' wrists, not in self defence or to pull at them, but to let the man know Tsuna had full faith and trust that he would never harm him. He smiled at his larger lover, said nothing but he really didn't need to; his eyes said all he wanted to. And Xanxus knew his smaller lover knew every emotion swirling within his eyes that he refused to show anyone else. Love being the forefront; then guilt for attempting to take this beautiful person from this world – his world – when they were younger and far more stupid; greed wanting to make Tsuna _his_ and let no one touch him again; a fiery passion and longing for Tsuna to love him back; an adoration that bordered on obsession for Tsuna; a _need_ for Tsuna to stay by his side, if only for the other to drive away his insanity; a deep self loathing because Tsuna deserved so much more than Xanxus could ever give him. Fear that Tsuna would see him for what he was, for how broken he really was, and leave him.

And he felt like a monster for every emotion he felt but could never reiterate.

Xanxus never really understood why, but he always tried to scare off his lovers before they could really get into bed with him. Almost as if his subconscious mind was telling him to reaffirm the fact that no one could really love him back, because they were always too afraid of him to see him past his scars and snarls. And to do this, he would wrap his hands around their throats, snarl and squeeze. No one stayed past that point – they had all run from him, screamed at him, called him a monster, a murderer. Man or woman, it didn't matter. No one had ever stayed after that – and it broke Xanxus' heart every time.

So, he tightened his hands on Tsuna's perfect neck, hating his need for validation, silently begging Tsuna to stay, even as he snarled at Tsuna – growling in his face and squeezing the air from Tsuna's beautiful lungs. He squeezed and he expected Tsuna to do all the things everyone else had done, panic and scream, hit him in an attempt to get away, run from him… break his heart, just like they all had.

But Tsuna stayed. His smile had shifted only a touch before returning to a gentle tilt of lips, eyes still staying on Xanxus', saying that he still trusted the man to not hurt him. He remained calm; even letting his hands fall from large wrists, just to demonstrate that he was going no where. Even when he couldn't breath. Even when tears gathered in his eyes from the pain of asphyxiation. Even when his vision blurred and he couldn't see Xanxus' face clearly anymore.

He kept his smile even as his eyes closed to hide the blood vessels popping. And his smile widened as the man he loved and trusted let go with a heaving sob, getting up and sitting away from Tsuna, leaving the much smaller 18-year-old to choke and wheeze and _breathe_ again. Once his breathing was under control, Tsuna sat up and blindly reached out for Xanxus, grabbing his shoulder and using it to heave himself closer.

' _Something's wrong with me.'_

"Something's wrong with you." Xanxus said, attempting to hide tears he hadn't cried since he was a small boy in the slums. "You should have left by now." Tsuna merely draped himself over Xanxus' shoulders and pressed a kiss to the man's cheek.

"You keep forgetting something though." His voice was harsh, much more so than either had expected; Tsuna cringed with the sound of it, and Xanxus let a sob passed the formally unbreakable wall in his chest.

"What's that?" Xanxus' voice was a bare whisper and Tsuna knew it was because the man was just so close to losing his mind.

"You're mine." Tsuna whispered simply, eyes finally coming back into focus. "And I'll never let anyone take you from me. Not even you."

Xanxus seemed to curl in on himself before he turned in Tsuna's hold, wrapped his arms around Tsuna's waist, and pulled them both back down to the hotel bed. He man buried his head in the crook of Tsuna's neck and hid his face there with the intent of never coming out. Tsuna's words echoed in his head and it took him a minute, but he realised that he never knew how much he needed to hear those words until the fell from Tsuna's perfect lips. He grit his teeth to bite back the tears and held Tsuna tight to his body.

Tsuna held the larger man, thinking on how he was supposed to lose his virginity to Xanxus tonight. They hadn't yet had sex, though they had gotten close – they had both gone down on each other a few times, and a couple of times Xanxus played with his ass, but seeing the man break down as he was, Tsuna knew it would be best for the both of them if they tried again another night. This was a revelation for Xanxus that ran deeper than Tsuna had first thought, but that was OK. Tsuna smiled down at the man buried in his neck, his hold tightening just a touch before he relaxed under the man, content in holding him. They both still had their pants on, though Tsuna had lost his belt somewhere in the hotel hallway before they even got to their room.

"I love you."

The rough, hard words were spoken into Tsuna's neck, and it startled him into looking down, attempting to look at the larger man's face. Did he… did he really just say it first?

"W-What?"

"I love you." Xanxus said again, his voice and body trembling, "And no, don't say it back unless you fucking mean it." Tsuna nodded, slowly, and snuggled deeper into the man's hold.

"Then I'll instead say again, you're mine. And I will never allow anyone to come between us." The large body covering his shook violently for a moment before Xanxus leaned up again, pulling away from Tsuna's warmth just enough to bring their lips together lightly.

"I'll take it."

* * *

The end… or is it? You never know with me.

\- Mel


End file.
